Decode Your Dating DNA: What Archetype Are You?

In the intricate dance of modern relationships, many women find themselves stepping on their own toes, tripped up by patterns they can't quite see. These hidden choreographies shape our interactions, influence our choices, and often leave us wondering why we keep ending up in the same unsatisfying routines.

What if you could step back and see the full picture of your relationship dance? What if you could identify the steps that serve you and those that hold you back?

This is where understanding your relationship archetype comes in. Like characters in a grand narrative, we often play roles in our relationships without fully realizing it. Some of us might be the ever-accommodating supporter, always putting others' needs first. Others might be the perfectionist, holding themselves and their partners to impossible standards. Still others might wear a mask of invulnerability, hiding their true selves behind a façade of strength.

Recognizing these patterns—these archetypes—can be the first step towards transformative change. It's like turning on the lights in a dimly lit room; suddenly, you can see the obstacles that were tripping you up all along.

In this exploration, we'll dive into four common archetypes. As you read, pay close attention to which descriptions resonate with you on a gut level. You might see aspects of yourself in more than one—after all, we're complex beings with multifaceted personalities.

Are you ready to uncover the hidden scripts that are directing your love life? Let's begin this journey of self-discovery together.

The Yes Woman: The Eternal People-Pleaser

Sarah always said "yes" to everything. Extra work projects? Of course. Organizing her friend's baby shower? Absolutely. Canceling her own plans to accommodate her partner's last-minute changes? Without hesitation.

One day, Sarah found herself sitting alone in her apartment, surrounded by half-finished projects and a to-do list a mile long. Her chest felt tight, her shoulders ached, and a familiar knot of resentment twisted in her stomach. "When was the last time I did something just for me?" she wondered, tears welling up in her eyes.

If you relate to Sarah's story, you are a People Pleaser. This archetype often:

• Puts everyone else's needs before her own
• Feels a constant need for external validation, especially from partners and family
• Experiences deep-seated feelings of unworthiness and resentment
• Goes to great lengths to ensure others' comfort, often at personal cost

The emotional toll is heavy: exhaustion, loneliness, and a sense of losing oneself. The People Pleaser often feels like a supporting character in her own life story.

Breaking free: The first step is recognizing your own worth. Start small – try saying "no" to one request this week. Feel the power in setting boundaries. Remember, self-care isn't selfish; it's necessary.

Mrs. Perfectionist: The Fear of Imperfection

Emma stared at her dating app, her finger hovering over the "create profile" button. Her heart raced, and her palms felt clammy. "What if I'm not interesting enough? What if they find out I'm not perfect?" The familiar wave of anxiety washed over her, and she closed the app, feeling both relief and deep disappointment.

If Emma's internal struggle sounds familiar, you align with the Perfectionist archetype. Perfectionists often:

• Avoid new experiences or relationships for fear of not excelling
• Struggle to let others see their authentic selves
• Set impossibly high standards as a form of self-protection
• Feel intense anxiety at the thought of being "found out" as imperfect

The emotional landscape of a Perfectionist is often marked by loneliness, fear, and a persistent feeling of inadequacy masked by an outward appearance of having it all together.

Breaking free: Start by embracing small imperfections. Leave the house without makeup one day, or send that email without proofreading it ten times. Feel the liberation in being authentically, imperfectly you.

The Faux Strong Woman: The Confidence Mirage

Olivia walked into the board room, head held high, exuding confidence. Her colleagues admired her poise and decisiveness. Yet, as she sat in her car after the meeting, she felt her carefully constructed facade crumbling. Tears threatened to spill as she whispered to herself, "If they only knew how scared and insecure I really feel."

The Faux Strong Woman archetype is you if you:

• Project unwavering confidence while battling deep-seated insecurities
• Surround yourself with people you perceive as less accomplished to boost your self-esteem
• Are drawn to partners who need "fixing," as it provides a sense of purpose and control
• Feel exhausted from constantly maintaining an image of strength

This archetype often experiences a profound sense of impostor syndrome, fear of vulnerability, and emotional isolation.

Breaking free: Start by acknowledging your vulnerabilities to someone you trust. Share a fear or insecurity. You might be surprised to find that showing vulnerability actually strengthens your relationships and makes you feel more genuinely confident.

Mrs. Mummy: The Overthinker

Rachel sat surrounded by relationship self-help books, her laptop open to yet another dating advice podcast. She'd been here before—consuming information, making plans, feeling momentarily inspired. But when it came to actually going on dates or opening up to her partner, she froze.

"Why can't I just do what these experts say?" she thought, frustration and shame washing over her. "What's wrong with me?"

If Rachel's struggle feels all too familiar, you identify with the Overthinker archetype. Overthinkers often:

• Accumulate vast amounts of relationship knowledge without implementing it
• Feel paralyzed when it comes to taking action in their love life
• Struggle with deep-seated fears of intimacy and vulnerability
• Repeatedly fall into the same relationship patterns despite their best intentions

The emotional experience of an Overthinker is often marked by frustration, self-doubt, and a sense of being stuck in an endless loop of analysis and inaction.

Breaking free: Start by putting down the self-help books and taking action, no matter how small. The next time you're overthinking a situation, challenge yourself to do something – send that text, make that call, take that chance. Action is the antidote to anxiety.

Breaking Free: Your Journey to Healing and Self-Reconnection

Recognizing yourself in these archetypes can be uncomfortable, even painful. But it's also the first step towards profound change. Imagine stepping into a version of yourself who:

• Sets healthy boundaries without guilt
• Embraces imperfection as a beautiful part of being human
• Feels genuine confidence rooted in self-acceptance
• Takes inspired action in pursuit of fulfilling relationships
• Follows through on her commitments, especially to herself
• Loves herself deeply and unapologetically
• Embraces her wounds as sources of strength
• Asks for what she wants without fear of rejection
• Takes up space confidently and expresses her opinions boldly
• Radiates abundance and feels a strong connection to her inner wisdom

Yes… this could be you… 

This version of you isn't just a dream – she's waiting to be unleashed. She's the Unbreakable Woman, and she's ready to break free from the cage of limiting beliefs and patterns.

This is possible, but it requires more than just knowledge—it demands action and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone.

That's why I've created the Unbreakable Woman program. This intensive journey is designed to help you transform your heartbreak into ecstasy and become the main character of your own story.

Are you ready to meet your unbreakable self?

Remember, nothing will change if you remain in your comfort zone. Your unbreakable self lies just beyond that discomfort – yes, that place where you currently feel stuck and stagnant. It's time to take that brave step forward.

Your authentic, empowered self is waiting. It's time to meet her.

I have been broken, so I know there are happier chapters ahead for you…If you would like some free customized guidance… feel free to book a 30-minute call with me directly. Book here. 

Lastly, no woman walks this path alone. Share this article with the women in your circle and let us create a safe space for healing and self-reconnection.